When most people say “I’m sorry”, they’re usually apologising for one or more specific things that they did or didn’t do. However, when someone with depression says “I’m sorry”, then while they may of course be similarly apologising for a specific action or inaction, they may also be saying “I’m sorry” for a variety of other reasons that aren’t immediately obvious.
Consequently, a little while ago, we at The Depression Project recently asked our 3,000,000+ person social media community:
What are you often thinking / apologising for when you say "I'm sorry"?
And below, we’d like to share some of the responses with you.
Quotes About What People With Depression Are Often Thinking / Apologising For When They Say "I'm Sorry"
- “I’m unworthy of this relationship, and I’m waiting for you to confirm that.”
- "I’m sorry for being ‘too much’ when it comes to my emotions, my depression, etcetera.”
- “I’m sorry for being ‘not enough’ – i.e. not good enough for you.”
- “I’m sorry that I can’t show you my joyful, chirpy, helpful side today.”
- “I’m sorry that I can’t show up more, be more present in our relationship, and help you too.”
- “I’m sorry for being a buzz kill. I’m sorry for disappearing to recharge. I’m sorry for having you wonder if I’m really OK.”
- “I’m aware of the burden I place on others, and I am so sorry.”
- “Please don’t leave me because of my depression.”
- “I feel guilty for everything I’m putting you through because of my depression.”
- “I’m sorry for being so needy.”
- “I apologise for my presence.”
- “I hate myself for what I did. I’m so sorry.”
- “Please don’t leave me. I don’t mean to be this way.”
- “I’m scared I’m losing you.”
- “I feel I am inconveniencing you, and I hate that.”
- “Please don’t hate me.”
What To Do If You Know Someone With Depression Who Tells You "I'm Sorry"
As you can see, if a loved one with depression tells you that they’re “sorry”, then it’s possible that while they may be apologising for something specific that they did or didn’t do, they may also be having a crippling moment of self-doubt, shame, insecurity and/or self-hatred. Consequently, we really encourage you to keep this in mind, and try your best to reassure your loved one and to make them feel safe.
All our love,
The Depression Project Team.