Unfortunately, as we often hear from members of The Depression Project's community, when people with depression open up about what they're going through, it's common for them to be called something along the lines of âattention seekingâ, or to be told that theyâre being âoverdramaticâ, a âdrama queenâ, or some variation thereof.
However, in reality, itâs actually almost always the opposite.
Busting The "People With Depression Are Attention Seeking" Myth, Part 1: People With Depression Actually Tend To Hide Their Suffering
Because they tend to be afraid of being judged, criticised, having their illness not taken seriously, and/or because they just donât know how to articulate their depression clearly, then rather than faking their depression, most sufferers fake being âOKâ. In particular, some extremely, extremely common ways people with depression often do this include:
- Smiling on the outside while theyâre going through hell on the inside;
- Saying âIâm fineâ when they feel miserable, broken, and completely and utterly overwhelmed;
- Saying âIâm busyâ when theyâre having a mental breakdown;
- Working hard to uphold their responsibilities and trying to appear as if they have everything in their life all together â only to collapse in a heap when they get home;
- Joking and making others laugh because they know what itâs like to feel empty and numb on the inside.
Busting The "People With Depression Are Attention Seeking" Myth, Part 2:Â The Real Reason People With Depression Open Up About It
Not only do people commonly hide their depression, but because theyâre afraid of being judged, criticised, having their illness not taken seriously and/or because they donât know how to articulate their depression clearly, on the rare occasions that they do open up about it, it's common for them to feel uncomfortable, scared and nervous, and it often takes all the courage they have to bring themselves to do it. And, on these occasions, rather than looking for attention, what theyâre actually looking for is usually, for example:
- A sense of safety in a world they find scary;
- A light in their darkest hour;
- A reminder that theyâre not alone;
- A reason to keep on fighting through their depression;
- The love theyâre currently unable to give themselves;
- A reminder that theyâre not all the horrible things their depression is telling them they are;
- Someone who will hopefully understand what theyâre going through;
- Reassurance that everything is going to be OK.
Conclusion:Â People With Depression Are NOT Attention Seeking
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but as we hear from members of The Depression Project's community every single day, for the overwhelming majority of people with depression, what we've described in this blog post is their reality â which is why itâs so painful when theyâre told that theyâre "just looking for attention" or "being overdramatic".
All our love,
The Depression Project Team.